For My Single Friends
While God has called some to singleness, for the majority of us, God’s plan includes marriage at some point in the future. If that’s you, then you’re going to have to find a spouse at some point. The Bible’s teaching on marriage begins in Genesis where God lays out the foundational framework of one man married to one woman for life. Beyond that, there are a lot of variables and it can get confusing, so below is a few points out of the Marriage 101 sermon from 1 Corinthians 1:1-16. This isn’t intended to be a full treatise on marriage and dating/courtship, but a general guide to thinking about this pursuit.
Choosing Who To Marry:
1. Look for the Right Person
Someone who is saved.
Who is obviously a Christian.
Someone you can love and commit to for the rest of your life.
Girls - can you follow his leadership?
Guys - will she encourage and support you? Be your helpmate?
Are they pursuing sanctification?
Are you attracted to them?
Do you enjoy being around them?
Is there a reasonable compatibility?
If you want 15 kids, & they want no kids, you might not be compatible.
You want to live in NYC, but she wants to live in a cabin in the woods, maybe not.
You don’t have to have perfect alignment in every category - and they say “opposites attract” - but don’t push it to the limits.
Seek the input of your church leaders
Seek the input of other faithful Christians
What do your parents think?
And only date the kind of person you would want to be married to.
But even more important:
2. BE the Right Person!
Focus on this more than the first one, even though that’s easier.
When you’re focused on BEING the right person, you’re far more likely to pursue the right things in someone else.
Focus on your pursuit of Christ (be saturated in Scripture)
Focus on being fully engage in your church.
Follow the instructions in Philippians 4:8.
Don’t put yourself in temptation’s way.
Lean into the help God provides.
Starting with Scripture and including all those He places around you.
Pursue biblical wisdom (read Proverbs).
Again: a right pursuit resolves many struggles.
3. Be Thankful
Be thankful for what the Lord IS DOING for you right now.
Don’t be dissatisfied with His provision TODAY, be thankful instead.
If you can’t be thankful to God today for what He is doing, why would you think you’ll be thankful for what tomorrow holds?
If you’re always finding something wrong with what He’s doing for you now, then a change in your situation won’t fix that.
This isn’t just marriage advice. It’s life advice too.
We’re commanded to be thankful always.
If our ability or desire to be thankful to God is situational (meaning that it’s based on whether or not we like our current situation) you’ll probably never truly be thankful.
4. Be Patient
God is at work - in you, through you, and around you.
His timeline is perfect.
Trust in His sovereignty and in His perfect plan for your life.
God is good - all the time.
And His plan is best. All the time.
(Redouble your efforts in #2)
Grace & Peace
Pastor Rob